Ally, Accomplice, or Simply Annoying? Resources for White Folks to Understand and Dismantle Racism

It’s happening again. Another social media thread exposing how pervasive inherent structural racism is, especially in the USA, and how it sabotages good individual and public health. Particularly in the field of parent-child health.  (For an eyeful on this, explore the investigative journalism series from ProPublica and NPR on maternal death rates in pregnancy and childbirth.)

In August 2017 I attended the U. S. Breastfeeding Committee’s Seventh National Breastfeeding Coalitions Convening (akin to a conference), focusing on equity and collective impact in the delivery of breastfeeding support. It was spectacular. In a “table-talk discussion” in which I participated, intended for White Folks (like me), I shared a handout that is a mere **snapshot** of available resources for those who want to learn more about health disparities and structural racism in the USA.  I entitled it as this post is: Ally, Accomplice, or Simply Annoying? Resources for White Folks to Understand and Dismantle Racism.

Here is a cut-and-paste of that hand-out, with links.  Please dive in.

 

1. Adultism as the basis for all “isms.” Nanci Luna Jiménez. https://lunajimenezseminars.com/

 

2. Be prepared to be uncomfortable and Do. Your. Own. Homework.
   1. It is not for marginalized communities to teach dominant culture about oppression.
   2. “Ask yourself: What if this was true?” (Cynthia Good)

 

3. Be Up on your research, data, policy re: health disparities, infant mortality, women’s healthcare
   3. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/66/wr/mm6627a3.htm

 

4. Lactation and BFg support: ILCA Lactation Equity Action Cmte and Summit to Reduce Barriers of Entry into the Profession: http://www.ilca.org/main/about/values-vision-mission/equity/new-item/equity-initiative

 

5. Race to Lead report (racism and inequity in board leadership) http://www.racetolead.org/
   1. General excellent resources on non-profit board leadership. Listen for assumptions of white, binary, hetero environments. https://boardsource.org/about-boardsource/

 

6. Listen to voices of People of Color (POC) – follow several on social media
   1. Listen means listen and don’t post or talk.
   2. “If you are just now feeling the urgency of the need to fight systemic racism, chances are, you are white.” – Ijeoma Oluo, https://theestablishment.co/welcome-to-the-anti-racism-movement-heres-what-you-ve-missed-711089cb7d34
   3. Hakima Tafunzi Payne, Uzazi Village, KCMO with Elizabeth Behrens FB broadcasts; July 30, 2017 post: https://www.facebook.com/events/1452922031435189/permalink/1488699954524063/?hc_location=ufi [see more, below]
   4. Kimberly Seals Allers. The Big Letdown — https://www.amazon.com/Big-Letdown-Medicine-Undermine-Breastfeeding/dp/1250026962/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1501753115&sr=1-1&keywords=kimberly+seals+allers

 

7. Read books, blogs, poems, listen to music by folks from other cultures, writing to other cultures
   1. Ta-Nehisi Coates Between the World and Me — https://www.amazon.com/Between-World-Me-Ta-Nehisi-Coates/dp/0812993543/ref=la_B001JRWQ8M_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1501752977&sr=1-1

 

8. Impact matters more than intent. Apologies should reflect that. Chescaleigh you tube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8xJXKYL8pU

 

9. Look outside traditional parent-health or healthcare venues for information about oppression, racism, classism

 

10. Practice using inclusive language in speaking, writing, teaching, charting. In the BFg world, it is hard to move away from a “mother-baby” language reference. https://lactationmatters.org/2017/01/03/introducing-the-new-ilca-style-guidelines-for-written-professional-resources/

 

11. Delve into privilege, inherent/structural racism, cultural appropriation, equity vs. diversity, centering, microaggressions, intersectionality, reparations, gentrification, white fragility, cognitive dissonance ….

 

12. Be willing to learn ways to “call in” White Folk who are making insensitive or racist comments

 

13. Find and follow voices/authors of White folks discussing/dismantling racism.
    1. Tim Wise reading list: http://www.timwise.org/reading-list/
    2. Robin DiAngelo, What Does It Mean To Be White? Developing White Racial Literacy. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1433131102?ref_=sr_1_1&qid=1498318243&sr=8-1&keywords=what%20does%20it%20mean%20to%20be%20white&pldnSite=1

 

14. Podcast fan? Invisibilia program about inherent racism. https://www.npr.org/player/embed/532955665/533257763

 

15. YouTube poem (2013) “A Poem for My White Friends: I Didn’t Tell You.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UVIgjuovt8&sns=fb

 

From Tafunzi Payne/Behrens video (see 6.c. above):

1. Don’t expect people of color to be your only source of education about race. POCs get exhausted explaining the same ideas over and over again, every time a white person “joins the conversation.” Read a book instead. Watch a documentary. Google it. If you must hit up your POC friend for insight, at least buy them dinner, and really listen to what they have to say.
2. Don’t take up too much (metaphorical) space in the conversation. ​Yes, this is hard for verbal processors. We know you have important things to say. But white people’s ideas and stories are prioritized everywhere else. Take this opportunity to sit quietly and platform voices of color.
3. Don’t compare your experience of oppression or suffering with a POC’s experience with oppression or suffering.​ Although you might see similarities between your circumstances, resist the urge to interpret a POC’s experience through your limited lens. Your suffering is real, and it might help you feel more connected to or empathetic toward your POC friend. But your experiences are not the same. Continue to listen and seek to understand.
4. Don’t “whitesplain.” ​Do not explain racism to a POC. Do not explain how the microaggression they just experienced was actually just someone being nice. Do not explain how a particular injustice is more about class than race. It’s an easy trap to fall into, but you can avoid it by maintaining a posture of active listening.
5. Don’t make the conversation about you.​ The needs/feelings/questions/ priorities of white people are centered everywhere else. If you feel silenced or undervalued, use that experience to inform how you treat POC in other spaces instead of developing a victim complex. The falling of white tears does not build bridges.
6. Don’t equate impact with intent.​ Yes, we all know your heart was in the right place and you meant well. But your words or behavior had a negative impact on those around you, and that’s what matters. Apologize and do better next time.
7. Don’t explain away a POC’s experience of oppression.​ Don’t play devil’s advocate or provide an alternative explanation for what happened. Take their word for it. Maybe ask a follow-up question like, “How did that make you feel?”
8. If what you are about to say starts with “Not all…” (…men, …white people, …evangelicals, …police officers, etc.), don’t say it. ​Conversations about race and racism are about systems, institutions, and ideologies more than individuals. Of course, there are “good” examples in each of these categories. But don’t derail the conversation by bringing up the exceptions, when discussing the rule.
9. Don’t demand proof of a POC’s lived experience or try to counter their narrative with the experience of another POC.​ The experiences and opinions of POC are as diverse as its people. We can believe their stories. But keep in mind: just because one POC doesn’t feel oppressed, that doesn’t mean systemic, institutional racism isn’t real.
10. Don’t believe the classic trope that behavior modification on the part of POCs would eliminate racism. ​In other words, don’t blame the victim.​ ​POCs changing how they dress, what music they listen to, how they speak, or any other number of excuses, will not eradicate white supremacy.
11. Do not chastise POCs (or dismiss their message) because they express their grief, fear, or anger in ways you deem “inappropriate.”​ Understand that historically, we white people have silenced voices of dissent and lament with our cultural idol of “niceness.” Provide space for POCs to wail, cuss, or even yell at you. Jesus didn’t hold back when he saw hypocrisy and oppression; POCs shouldn’t have to either.
12. Do not attempt to equate your experiences visiting, serving, or living overseas with the experience of being a POC in America. ​You may have been a minority in your setting, but it is not an equivalent experience. Being a POC in America includes a different set of dynamics.
13. Don’t underestimate the impact of your words. ​You have the power to inflict real, lasting damage in these conversations. Be careful; melanin is not a protective shield. Decide if you want to be a balm or a battering ram.
14. Don’t forget: racism is ​our ​problem.​ Our people created and sustained it, and now it’s our job to dismantle it. Only by the grace and mercy of God are POCs willing to walk this road with us toward racial healing and reconciliation. Honor that reality in how you treat those with whom you want to build bridges.
15. Don’t get defensive when you are called out for any of the above. ​When a POC tells you that your words/tone/behavior are racist/oppressive/triggering, you stop. Don’t try to explain yourself (see #6.) Don’t become passive-aggressive or sarcastic. Don’t leave in a huff. (It may be helpful, however, to inconspicuously step outside/go to the restroom and take a deep breath.) Remain cognizant of the dynamics of white fragility, and take note of how it usually shows up in you.
16. Don’t give up.​ Stay in the race. Take care of yourself. Find community. Keep a Sabbath. Abide in the Word. Pray. Laugh. Cry. Yell. Sit quietly. Sing. Dance. Remember that our hope is in Jesus, who is present, and who sees all, and who grieves more deeply than you over racial oppression. Then come back and work hard again tomorrow.

[Above list 1-16: Copyright Be the Bridge 2017]